diary of a mad black writer 1.

 

“Trying is hard. Trying to write, well that’s draining-old-garri-level-hard. It almost physically hurts when you try to write and all you can come up with are a couple of mediocre pieces. You try and try to make them less pedestrian; you take out all the mistakes, but alas, your grammar prowess seems to be on holiday, and your spelling is just all over the place.

You’ve googled different ways to overcome this; helpful, sort of. The easy part is to put what you learned into practice right? Wrong. It’s the hardest. At some point, you start to question the weirdos who ever thought you could write for shit. Well, let’s face it, you probably already questioned their mental capacities when they even thought to classify your writing as something remotely close to “good”.

Trying to write is hard. Trying to write despite a writers’ block is picking sixteen-cups-of-beans-alone- level hard. It puts you at the brink of quitting this bullshit and accepting your fate—whatever that might be.

Others might feel different from you, and you sure are jealous of that.

Trying to write with writers’ block is hard. Trying to write with distractions, well, that is the equivalent of someone talking to you when you have earphones in. You don’t want to reply, you don’t want your music interrupted but, guess what? You let it happen anyway. Why? For the life of you, you can’t figure out why, and I’m saying this assuming that the “music disruptor” is saying nothing deathly important.

To combine all I have described with being easily discouraged means you get a whole cakewalk of a life, yeah? No. On the (obvious) contrary, everything sucks. You are aware that there are ups and downs with everything but your mind doesn’t seem to accept that yet.

Every little thing annoys the living hell out of you and just makes you feel like quitting. What’s worse? You’ve consciously tried to stop letting stuff get to you that way, and you just can’t. You are even convinced that your “village people” are out to get you, which, considering the country you are in, may not be so far from the truth.

You hear everyone trying to encourage writers by saying, all you need to get better at writing is to “just write”. And you instantly think, “no shit, Sherlock!” because that is what you’ve been trying to do for years! How is that working out? Well, I’m pretty sure you’d be able to tell after reading this punctuation and overall grammar mistakes-ridden write-up.

You know that as you write something painfully real, that it just seems like you’re putting yourself down for content’s sake. But you can assure people, if that could be your truth, you wouldn’t waste a second to accept it. You just simply thought it would be nice to highlight your struggles instead of trying to fight them head-on as is generally advised. The coward’s way out, yeah, you know that. Can you blame yourself?”